So this week I reckon I've clocked 37 hours of work in 4 days. On top of that I have also been to a Jens Leckman gig and been to see Johnny English Reborn with Smithy, Davina and Becky. It's been jam-packed.
But all of this is catching up with me. Today has been a struggle. I spent between 8:30-2:30 today helping the Newham team by leading discussions and teaching lessons in school. This meant leaving my house pretty early and believe me my thoughts this morning were not great as I got caught in commuter rushes through central London. However, as I crossed London Bridge I was able to see this beautiful sight which isn't shown in this photo in the slightest but it was so totally what I needed to see.
As the sun began to rise at roughly 7am this morning I was there to see the sky being a beautiful shade of yellow and was reminded of the fact that God is a God of glory. That he deserves my praise from as soon as I wake up to when I go to sleep, and even as I dream I can be worshiping him.
I am rubbish at stopping to seek God or listen to him. I'm much more of a Martha than a Mary - I do things rather than just sit at Jesus' feet. But I want that to change - not that I want to change who I am, but I want my hearts desire to be to come and rest with Jesus and to let him speak to me...rather than me power through to get things done.
It's a difficult balance because I want to be efficient and good at my job. In the short-term that means seeing results; however, in the long-term that means investing into sustainable ways of working and I know that for myself I need to be spending more time with God if I am ever to survive.
I feel exactly like this. except that i'm not even efficient... i try really hard to be a martha and fail a lot of the time and God's like 'try Mary's tack' and I'm like 'RAAHHHwaaaaaaah aaajdbjdbcjbcaj' hahah xxx
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