This blog is a bit out there for me. As in, before I've even written it, I feel vulnerable. I was reading a post from Prodigal Magazine (which I am finding to be a really meaty online article resource) and in it the author was being really honest about an insecurity she had - at the end she asked if people were willing to share their insecurities in the hope of growing together. You can read her article here.
Anyway, I had a think about it and if I'm honest I am pretty insecure about the fact I have horrifically dry skin. There, it's out there.
Since I was born I have had eczema and I genuinely don't think there has ever been a time when I haven't had to moisturise multiple times a day.
The frustrating thing about it is that growing up Doctors/parents would say that I would grow out of it. That clearly has not happened. So how much growing up do I have to do exactly? (clearly I'm not growing physically up any more!)
I find myself constantly checking my face in mirrors, windows, cars that drive past...just to assure myself that I don't look like a raisin. And then if I do, being able to readily crack out the infamous E45 to deal with the situation.
Growing up at school I could kind of deal with it ok. I mean no one wants to be the eczema kid, but everyone was going through something - acne, ridiculous growth spurts or hormone overloads. I guess I felt like it was just the thing I had to deal with.
Now, when my colleagues are beautiful adults, I feel more out of place.
Annoyingly, Doctors don't seem to have developed any new cures for dry skin conditions in the 25 years I've been alive. So while I know there are a few things that specifically set my skin off a bit more (like: cold weather/hot heating, stress, eating dairy products, wearing wool), there is nothing to deal with it completely.
To be honest YES I am fed up of constantly thinking "am I a flaking mess".
It's a tricky one because on one hand I have friends who will tell me when they think I need to moisturise which clearly I appreciate in the sense that I don't want to look like my face is falling off...however the fact that they notice in the first place almost plays into my insecurities as it reminds me how obvious this thing is.
I guess the point of this post is more to get it out there that this is an issue to me. I struggle with wanting to look beautiful and not feeling it a lot (and no that is not an invitation for you all to give me sympathy and tell me I look beautiful anyway...thanks but it would feel like pity). This post is me venting my annoyance that no matter what type of creams/ointments/pastes I have tried, they don't seem to work. It's me giving two fingers to my skin and snarling at it because sometimes it makes me sad.
It's me saying thank you to those of you who help me feel like it's not an issue. That helps. Because in my head it is.
NOTE: On a totally unrelated issue you have 1 day to enter my book giveaway