9 Jun 2012


I don't know how many of you have ever gone for a massage, but on Thursday I went to have an ayurvedic massage and facial I had bought on Groupon for a bargain price.

I was really looking forward to it as I felt like I needed a bit of "me-time" - I'd had a massage before when I was in Aber because I had had a bit of a stiff back and just found it hugely relaxing so my hopes were that this would be the same. 

So anyway I turned up at this place in Thornton Heath and met my massuese lady and she led me down into this basement room which was pretty dim and had a sheet covering the one window...the room had a massage table, a little gas cooker with one ring and cabinet and a chair. 

I think I had been basing what this massage would be like on the one I had had before where I was left to get undressed and then got on the table, placed a towel strategically over my bum and then the lady came back and got on with the massage....that's not exactly how it went here....

So I got into the room and was asked to undress right then and there....so stripped off (she seemed like it was really normal!) and was amused that I then had a piece of string tied around my waist. So yes at this point I'm naked with a piece of string around me...then I was asked to sit down and had a load of oil poured over my head and then a head massage...it was pretty nice but pretty weird considering I was naked...

So after this she got a strip of cloth and tucked it into the front of the string and through and then tucked it into the back...new meaning to the word loin cloth! Have to say at this point I was thinking this was the most surreal experience I had ever had. Anyway moved to lay down onto the table and was pretty amused when she untucked the loin cloth at the back to massage my buttocks! HA! 

So I had an hour of this lady massaging literally everything (boobs and all)...not 100% sure how relaxing it was but defo a new experience. 

It was funny because I was asked to write a comment at the end and I read one of the ones above that said "a new experience, not sure if I enjoyed it, felt very exposed". Surprisingly I didn't dislike it - it was just a bit of a shock.

Anyone ever had anything similar? Or had a good massage?


  1. My sister-in-law went on a mission in Uganda and during their 'free time' her group went for a massage. She was the first in line, and most prudish! When she returned to the group a little shaken and rosy-cheeked, explaining how she had a similar experience to yourself (although a little less exposed waist down), the rest of the group turned away!

    I have never understood the appeal of being felt up by a stranger! I can't imagine describing the experience as 'relaxing', and hearing stories like yours definitely turns me away!

  2. This post was hilarious!! I've heard various bad stories about Groupon deals....hmm. Only ever had one massage but was at a proper spa and didn't involve any string or loin cloth stuff, haha!! Hope you have better luck next time! xx

  3. At my school a group went on World Challenge and as a thank you for two of the teachers who accompanied them they got them each a massage in Vietnam. From the feedback the teachers gave it was very like the experience you described, with the added strange factor of they were both in the same room having the massages. Amazingly they went along with the whole thing.

  4. Oh wow, that is awkward - boobs and all!
    I had one in china town in London before.. That was a little disconcerting as I was led down into the basement and into a really small room, and asked to strip. But I did get the towel over my bum, which she massaged through. Thankfully no boob massage though!