So I haven't blogged very regularly recently and that does frustrate me. Mainly because the longer I leave it without writing a blog, the more I feel like when I do write one it has to be amazing as people will be waiting for it. I think that probably says more about my ego than anything else...but that's some of the inner workings of my brain.
Anyway, my life has quickly returned to it's normal levels of activity. It is bizarre to think that my new batch of gap year students have only been with me for 1 month as it seems like I have been back to work for A LOT longer than that! Just been working hard and long hours.
The thing is though - I genuinely relish my job.
I was thinking this the other day when someone asked me how it was going. If I'm honest there have been times when my job has sucked the life from me. When it has been so hard to know what to do or have the motivation to go and hang out with the young people. But not at the moment.
I feel like this year more than any other I have molded my job to be doing the things I am good at - essentially bossing people around/strategy/starting things
So even though I have been (and continue to be) incredibly busy with meetings, projects, line management, mentoring, networking etc - I am relishing in it. Whereas in the past this might have drained me, now it is invigorating.
I think this might be down to 2 things:
- I really know the kids. In past years I've been getting to know them, now in my 3rd year - I really know them. I know their situations, families, stories and that makes a difference. I now see young people I work with EVERYWHERE. They stop me in the street and wave to me from the bus and interrupt my conversations to say hello. That really means something to me.
- I think ever since moving to London I have had a bit of a dry patch when it comes to reading my Bible. At uni I got really into reading it and loving it, but moving to London I was busy with life and it just wasn't as appealing anymore. But in the last few weeks I have had, what I can only describe as, "a craving" for God's word. Like I've read little snippets that people have posted and then gone and read huge chunks. I've been really inspired/encouraged to get back into reading it and knowing God's heart.
So despite not being able to blog as often as I have in the past, I am relishing in the fact that God is doing something in me and that clearly I am where I am meant to be.
"And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?" Esther 4:14
I had a bit of a realisation yesterday as I sat in the park following the sad news that my bike was a right off.
The realisation was: God keeps we safe through loads that I don't even realise.
You see, months ago I locked my bike up at Hither Green Station and someone tried to rob it. They had a good go denting the frame, scratching it up and taking the back wheel. I was gutted but just got on with getting a new wheel (courtesy of my buddy Bex), I've been happily cycling around Lewisham and even managed a London to Brighton on it in August.
Yesterday I took the bike into the bike shop to have a service - it's needed one for a while and so I was prepared for it to be an expensive affair. However, I was not prepared for them telling me I had a crack in the frame which has probably been there since the attempted robbery..! It has been dangerous to cycle since then.
They wouldn't touch it - told me to get a new bike as they aren't allowed to do work to damaged frames.
Obviously I am pretty sad that it's the end of the line with the bike - we have been through a lot together. But I am more amazed that it has lasted so long despite being in a dangerous state. At any point that frame could have collapsed - whether it be me cycling down my road, or on a main road on the way to work.
So I'm pretty thankful that God continues to keep me safe, even when I don't realise I'm at risk. I don't know how many times a day he protects me. The Bible says:
"You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me." Psalm 139:5
I am pretty grateful that he does that - I'm amazed that I can trust in a God who is able to protect me from that which I don't understand or know about.
So while I'm sad about the bike, I'm happy that at least I know God is looking out for me.
