More Heart Less Attack

If you follow my movements on facebook (which I know you all do) then you will know that I recently had a little jaunt to Iceland. It was a holiday to make up from my disastrous summer trip to Tenerife. And it was EPIC!

I had such a good time being chilled and just exploring another place. Here are a few pics:

Iceland is known as the land of Fire and Ice because of all the volcanoes and glaciers that they have. And I guess that in itself gave me a lot to think about. If someone is known as fiery or icy than those aren't necessarily positive descriptions. Yet Iceland is beautiful! (As hopefully you can see in the photos) It got me thinking about how even in our flaws there can be beauty. 

Iceland is pretty crazy place to live, there are live volcanoes, earthquakes, and I experienced a hurricane whilst I was there. Yet in the midst of what might have been an inhabitable land, there are places that make you stop and just breathe a bit deeper hoping that something of the rugged beauty will seep into you so that you will remember it accurately. These are times when a camera just can't capture the mix of views and feelings that they evoke. 

With regards to us, we can often be people who are unstable - like volcanoes we can lose it, like earthquakes we can have melt downs. Yet God sees us as beautiful. In spite of the risks, God still chooses us. He loves continually. He sees beyond the dangers and into what could be. The person I could be. 

That last photo is one I took just opposite the Cathedral; I spotted this little embroidered square tied to a lamp post. It's so true - more love would be better! 

On Tuesday we flew home and I went to a gig by a band called NEEDTOBREATHE 

They played a song which has been on my mind ever since. Surprise - it's called More Heart Less Attack. It's all about trying to be people who love better and attack less. You see I feel like all of this links together. I am an unstable person, we all are. We over-think, blow things out of proportion, take things personally, get defensive; yet God calls us to be people of more love. He sees the people we could be, the world this could be and says love more. Because more love would be better. 

 Have a listen.

Love and other stuff

For those of you who read my blog consistently you will know that I am sometimes fairly sporadic in my blog post publishing. In the past this has been to do with being horrendously busy and not having time to process thoughts, but recently that has not been the case at all. 

If anything over the last few weeks I have probably had more time and opportunity to think deeply than I have in a long time. It has been wonderful! There are a number of reasons for this:

• At work I have been told that we are aiming to "ruthlessly eliminate the hurry from our lives" - this has been taken from a book that we are reading called "Soul Keeping" by John Ortberg. I would seriously recommend this book - I am being made to only read a chapter a week and it is incredible how much more I am taking in. 
• I have had to cut down how much I am working. For a while I have been working more than I should have been in terms of my contract, but this year I've been told to sort it out and bring it down to what it should be. It's pretty crazy how just doing that has freed up A LOT of time.
• I have spoken to a number of wise people who have really helped to balance my thoughts and have asked the right questions.
• For a long time I haven't valued time by myself, but I seem to be in a new season where I am becoming more ok with not being with people 24/7. Means a lot more thinking happens. 

So one of the reasons I haven't blogged in a while is that I have been thinking a lot and not sure if my thinking is fully thought out enough to put something down in words. I'm very much still in that place but I figured I'd catch you guys up a bit so you know where my heads been. 

I've been asking the question:

How far should you love someone?

I guess I have always been quite a people person and as such have made a number of friends. As is inevitable some have hurt me. Now my natural response is to want to tell them to piss off, retreat, build a wall and keep myself safe. But as a Christian that doesn't sit well with me. I mean you don't see Jesus blanking Peter after the denial do you. 

But on the flip side I am also reticent to put myself out there to be hurt over and over - how far is too far? As a Christian is there ever a too far?

I have had a number of conversations with people about this and would appreciate further input because I don't have any answers yet. I am inclined to think that there must be a middle ground to retreating or being hurt repeatedly. But trying to work out what that is and what it looks like is taking a while and I think I'm on a journey of self discovery as I'm working it out. 

I've been recommended a couple of books to read so as and when I learn something or make any progress on knowing any answers I'll be back.

In the mean time I'm enjoying taking life at a slightly slower pace - it's good for the soul. 

Community

In the past if you have read this blog you will know that I talk a fair bit about community and the importance of it. It helps with feeling valued, like you belong and gives you an increased sense of identity and purpose. 

Well I have been trying to invest in the community I find myself in by:

1. Actively engaging with my (actual next-door, or on my road) neighbours - great banter from Maurice next door!
2. Joining a netball team to meet new people and widen my community - loving the girls, and the games.
3. Being committed to my Church mid-week community group - doing life with these guys every week. 

This week at my community group I was leading a part of it. Every week we eat together, pray, worship, share what God might be saying and take communion. Its a pretty relaxed affair and I always leave being pleased that I went.

Last Wednesday I decided to run a little exercise that I learnt from my friends over at XLP. We took part in the "Cup of Kindness".

For anyone getting worried it's not a weird occulty thing. Essentially, everyone gets a post-it and writes their name and something they would like prayer for on it. It goes into the cup and then everyone pulls a name out. Then we went around the room and when it was your turn you had to encourage/praise the person who you had pulled out of the cup and pray for them. The idea is then that everyone has an opportunity to jump in and encourage that person too and then for that one person you pray for them for the whole week. 

Now, before when I had done this it had always been in quite small groups of people who knew each other quite well - I wasn't exactly sure how this was going to go down as within our group (there's anything between 10-20 of us) there are people who I know really well and those who are still at the start of the friendship journey. But it was such a fruitful and uplifting time. 

Sometimes being honest about what you like about someone else not only does wonders for their self-esteem, but also for yours as you can see you are making an impact. Community only can go as far as the people within it will let it. Genuine community is about sharing life, the ups and downs, hopes and fears, weirdness and insecurities. That can only start when you really feel like people like you! 

I know that for me I have spent a large part of my life working or manipulating situations so that people like me. It's sometimes hard to believe that people will genuinely like me for me. The real, weird, over-the-line, energetic, possibly-too-much, me. I struggle with myself sometimes, even I find me annoying! But yet, in trying to be real, and the mess that comes with that, I have entered into real community. Where I can be honest about my fears and failures, where my uniqueness is celebrated and where I am encouraged to be myself. 

Last week I met up with a friend of mine who I have nick-named "Queen of Encouragement" because EVERY time we catch up I leave feeling like my spirit is soaring. Now not only did she buy me coffee and cake, but she encouraged the socks off of me. Being surrounded by people who can and WILL do that is a totally blessed place to be in. But it's where anyone wanting to grow in faith and living for Christ should be. If you want to grow you have to be in fertile soil; soil that is going to help and is full of nutrients. The people you associate with are either a blessing or a drain, there is limited middle ground. You need to make sure you have a good balance to spur you on. For me, I've been challenged; am I a blessing to those around me? Do I build them up? 

I'll stop with this verse:

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another" Hebrews 10:23-25

Sacrifice

A few days ago I got a text saying that maybe God was trying to talk to me about sacrifice. Now I don't know about you but generally when the word "sacrifice" is thrown out there I either think of Abraham about to kill his son, or I think about the story where Elijah is having the sacrifice competition with King Ahab. Neither of these stories fill me with joy as both require a pretty astounding level of trust in God. A level I feel like I will never reach if I'm honest. 

However, I didn't just want to dismiss this idea as something I'll never be able to get close to, so I did a little study. I have one of those Bibles (the big fat ones) that has a concordance in the back (most helpful thing ever.) So I looked up where it talks about sacrifice in the Bible.

Then I read the passages and made some notes - 

Then I had a think.

And I asked a few of you on facebook what you thought of when you heard the word "sacrifice". I got some great responses:

• Dying to Self
• Jesus' sacrifice for us
• Abraham and Isaac
• Marriage
• Elton John
• Putting other people before you/being willing to serve others - a number of people said this
• King Julian in Madagascar 2! (personal favourite)
• Love
• Goats/Fire/burnt sacrifice

And then I drew some conclusions with everything I had read/thought about.

#1. What God wants most is our heartfelt, pure, authentic worship

• "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 23:37 (Greatest Commandment)
• "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship." Romans 12:1

#2. He deserves this worship because of the sacrifice that Jesus' death was

• "...we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." Hebrews 10:10
• "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

#3. Our response to Jesus' sacrifice should be to love like he did

• "...live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:2
• "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:11-12

So when I think about sacrifice instead of it being about an unobtainable trust in God, it's actually more like trying to love God and love others. Now while this might seem easier, speaking from experience, loving God and people to a good standard is actually flipping hard! But I can trust that while I find it difficult to have the incredible trust that people in the Bible had - God doesn't leave me on my own to suss it out. He is there, and his Holy Spirit is at work helping me to think less of myself and more of others. 

• "He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30

Sacrifice in a nutshell.

* Disclaimer - I am not a Biblical scholar. I'm just trying to adventure my way through life with God...so please correct me if any of this is wrong!