Sacrifice

A few days ago I got a text saying that maybe God was trying to talk to me about sacrifice. Now I don't know about you but generally when the word "sacrifice" is thrown out there I either think of Abraham about to kill his son, or I think about the story where Elijah is having the sacrifice competition with King Ahab. Neither of these stories fill me with joy as both require a pretty astounding level of trust in God. A level I feel like I will never reach if I'm honest. 

However, I didn't just want to dismiss this idea as something I'll never be able to get close to, so I did a little study. I have one of those Bibles (the big fat ones) that has a concordance in the back (most helpful thing ever.) So I looked up where it talks about sacrifice in the Bible.

Then I read the passages and made some notes - 

Then I had a think.

And I asked a few of you on facebook what you thought of when you heard the word "sacrifice". I got some great responses:

• Dying to Self
• Jesus' sacrifice for us
• Abraham and Isaac
• Marriage
• Elton John
• Putting other people before you/being willing to serve others - a number of people said this
• King Julian in Madagascar 2! (personal favourite)
• Love
• Goats/Fire/burnt sacrifice

And then I drew some conclusions with everything I had read/thought about.

#1. What God wants most is our heartfelt, pure, authentic worship

• "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 23:37 (Greatest Commandment)
• "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship." Romans 12:1

#2. He deserves this worship because of the sacrifice that Jesus' death was

• "...we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." Hebrews 10:10
• "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

#3. Our response to Jesus' sacrifice should be to love like he did

• "...live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:2
• "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:11-12

So when I think about sacrifice instead of it being about an unobtainable trust in God, it's actually more like trying to love God and love others. Now while this might seem easier, speaking from experience, loving God and people to a good standard is actually flipping hard! But I can trust that while I find it difficult to have the incredible trust that people in the Bible had - God doesn't leave me on my own to suss it out. He is there, and his Holy Spirit is at work helping me to think less of myself and more of others. 

• "He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30

Sacrifice in a nutshell.

* Disclaimer - I am not a Biblical scholar. I'm just trying to adventure my way through life with God...so please correct me if any of this is wrong!

Breaking the Cycle

It's been a while since my last post. There are a number of reasons for that but I guess the biggest one has been, I just don't feel like writing much; and the longer I leave it the less I want to write because I feel like it needs to be WOW.

However, I decided to break the cycle and to just write something. 

I was glancing over the stats for this blog and it seems that every year since it began in 2011 I have struggled to post much in Jan/Feb. I don't know whether its because the start of a new year is busy, or whether I get blue because of the cold/rain/grey, or maybe because I always seem to pick up some lurgy or other at this time of year. But there is clearly a cycle of finding it more difficult to articulate and express myself during these months. 

I find that in periods of pressure/stress I tend to retreat into myself. Being an extrovert that has some interesting results in the long-term. 

• Frustration/lack of patience with people - not being able to have an outlet for myself means I get stressy with other people. It's not generally their fault, I have limited resources with which to deal with others.
• I tend to cry a lot - as this is basically the only outlet I can't stop.
• I over-think EVERYTHING. From whether people really like me, to whether I'm making good choices with my life, to if I can do my job etc etc.
• I get very very tired. Which is probably also why I get sick (I'm in the process of recovering from a cold - very phlegmy)
• I find it difficult to be fully present when I'm with people because I feel like I have to pretend to be ok, when actually I'm not. 

Now over the end of Jan, beginning of Feb I've been in this place and thankfully I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - this week has been SO much better! But when you are in the "I'm sad and I'm not even sure why, but I don't know what to do with the sadness" place, its really hard to know how to re-focus. 

Thankfully I am incredibly blessed to have some SOLID people in my life who are immense at pointing me back to truth and away from any of the lies that I might begin to believe. I've had some amazingly encouraging conversations with people from work, people from Church, people I barely know, people who I have known for ages. 

Each of them has reminded me of my true value. 

Each of them has made me feel accepted and loved.

Each of them has pointed me back to the anchor, the truth, the light - Jesus. 

I've had people come around just to give me a hug. I've had people dropping off cards and baked treats. I've had people pray with me/for me. I've had people let me cry on them. I've had people who have just come over to chill and watch things. 

I think I'm in a better place to be able to think rationally and to say that sometime life seems a bit overwhelming. Sometimes it's really difficult to remember the enormous blessings around you or to reflect on how far God has brought you. I have been SO encouraged by people who have stood with me and allowed me to be sad but have reminded me of reality. Because I love a God who is always with me, who gives value and purpose and who is a rock on which I can stand. 

And so today I am breaking this weird cycle, that I don't even get, of me being sad at this time of year. The light is breaking in.